Self Aware

My good friend Kylee said it best, "You have so much love to give, you need to find the right person to share it with." I have been realizing a major flaw in my character. I love to love. I love to be able to share my attention to certain people. As long as they are respondent to it in a positive manner, I will give it freely. I love to give my time, my energy and my talents to help them be happy and smile. How is this a flaw, you ask? Well I sometimes... ok most of the time, lower standards or rather change who I am just to be able to fulfill this NEED. I will go into a relationship with someone, even if we aren't completely compatible just so I can give love. Most of the time the standards I talk about are small things that I know I need. I've been realizing I need someone with decent motor skills. If it takes you too long to do a puzzle because you have the right piece and you can't seems to put it right side up... Good bye. I need someone comfortable on the phone. I miss talking on the phone till 3 am or even all night long. I need someone who isn't afraid of technology. I don't need them to be a computer engineer, but a bit of a tech savvy would be nice. Although I do love to feel like I can help when it comes to fixing your computer problems. Things like the list above I will put on hold, but when it comes down to it, if those weren't there, over time I would go insane.

Just recently I overheard a guy talking about his marriage. He was asked if he went to parties. His reply killed me, "Oh I'm married, we don't do things like that!" I was shocked. What does marriage have to do with going to parties and having fun? Screw that! I'm going to go to rock concerts, plays, movies, parties, and do adventurous stuff. I hate staying at home. Sure I love being on a computer, but seriously, I need to go for a hike. Take me shopping. Let's explore the neighborhood. I remember one Christmas with my ex-in-laws. They stayed home and watched TV. Lucky for me I had my computer, but after two days of that I had Cabin Fever. I grabbed a phone book and ran around the town looking at Pawn Shops. No, I wasn't in the country. I wasn't secluded to a mountain side. I wasn't trapped on a boat in the Pacific somewhere... I was in Tucson, AZ. I bigger city than I grew up in. There is tons to do and see.

I have made a list of things I will never compromise on ever again. I know it will end up in a broken heart if I do. Know who you are and what you stand for!